Disney avengers, Be our guest
by Chernaya-vdova
Summary: This is something i just thought of, I don't own anything, blah blah blah.This will eventually contain Blackfrost, don't worry. On with the show (cue dramatic curtain opening)
1. Chapter 1

**This is an Avengers parody. It's a series of fun drabbles along with Disney songs, the first one has Darcy and the whole gang singing along to "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast, I don't own Disney or the avengers. Just letting you know now because I am re-writing it again for every chapter. And I do not own the lyrics to this song at all I am simply using them for entertainment purposes, anyone that has a problem with an adequate reason to be so please inform me, not in the comments, PM me so I actually get it. :P**

"Hello, avengers, is anyone home" "don't play around with me I know you're here" Darcy searched around in search of her friends, when she entered the dining room. It's a huge open room with a very high ceiling and a big wooden oak table in the middle. Darcy saw someone climb up to the table. "Tony?" she said "is that you, you invited me for dinner where's everyone else?"

"Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents, your dinner!"

Said Tony, while someone pulled a chair up and pushed Darcy to the table. "What" said Darcy with extreme confusion.

"Be our guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test. Tie your napkin 'round your neck, Cherie. And we'll provide the rest. Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres. Why, we only live to serve. Try the grey stuff. It's delicious, don't believe me? Ask the dishes."

Then all the avengers came out with assorted food.

They can sing, they can dance After all, Miss, this is France And a dinner here is never second best Go on, unfold your menu Take a glance and then you'll Be our guest Oui, our guest Be our guest! Beef ragout Cheese soufflé Pie and pudding "en flambe"

We'll prepare and serve with flair. A culinary cabaret! You're alone. And you're scared. But the banquet's all prepared. No one's gloomy or complaining. While the flatware's entertaining. We tell jokes! I do tricks, With my fellow candlesticks. And it's all in perfect taste. That you can bet. Come on and lift your glass. You've won your own free pass, to be out guest. If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest.

Then it got really dark with the spotlight on Stark, he held Steve really close and Steve tried to get out of the spotlight because he was a very shy person and didn't approve of singing, because he was afraid they would awake the Beast (Loki).

"Life is so unnerving. For a servant who's not serving. He's not whole without a soul to wait upon

Ah, those good old days when we were useful... Suddenly those good old days are gone. Ten years we've been rusting. Needing so much more than dusting, needing exercise, a chance to use our skills!

Most days we just lay around the castle, flabby, fat and lazy. You walked in and oops-a-daisy!"

Then Pepper started singing in her best British accent. "It's a guest! It's a guest! Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed! Wine's been poured and thank the Lord. I've had the napkins freshly pressed. With dessert, she'll want tea. And my dear that's fine with me. While the 'vengers do their soft-shoein'. I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing. I'll get warm, piping hot. Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot? Clean it up! We want the company impressed. We've got a lot to do! Is it one lump or two for you, our guest! She's our guest! She's our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!

Then the whole gang started singing.

Be our guest! Be our guest! Our command is your request It's been years since we've had anybody here And we're obsessed With your meal, with your ease Yes, indeed, we aim to please While the candlelight's still glowing Let us help you, We'll keep going

(Cue spotlight on Stark) Tony: Course by course, one by one

'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!" Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest Tonight you'll prop your feet up But for now, let's eat up Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please, be our guest!

**Ok I know it's dumb but I had to do it. Just if you were wondering, Pepper is Mrs. Potts, ha ha ha! Tony is Lumiere, Steve is Cogsworth, and everyone else is the chorus. Except that is Loki, he's the beast. Oh and Darcy is Belle. ;D**


	2. Chapter 2

"Under the sea" from The Little Mermaid, Avengers style, well really Thor style, once again don't own anything even if i do tweak the lyrics a bit.

Cast:

Ariel: Thor

Sebastian: Odin

Clueless stupid Flounder: Loki

Chorus: Asgardian people

The seaweed is always greener  
In somebody else's lake  
You dream about going up there  
But that is a big mistake  
Just look at the world around you  
Right here on the ocean floor  
Such wonderful things surround you  
What more is you lookin' for?

Under the sea  
Under the sea  
Darling it's better  
Down where it's wetter  
Take it from me  
Up in Midgard they work all day  
Out in the sun they slave away  
While we devoting  
Full time to the King  
here in Asgard

Down here all the folk are'nt happy  
As away from the waves they run  
The folk in Midgard are happy  
They are cause they have'n fun  
But folk on Midgard is lucky  
They in for a worser fate  
One day when Odin get hungry  
Guess who's gon' be on the plate

Here in Asgard

Here in Asgard

Nobody beat us  
Fry us and eat us  
In fricassee  
Mid' folks what we loves to cook  
Here in Asgard we off the hook  
We got no troubles  
Life is the bubbles  
Here in Asgard here in Asgard  
Since life is sweet here  
We got the beat here  
Naturally  
Even the Loki an' the Frey(a)  
They get the urge 'n' start to play  
We got the spirit  
You got to hear it  
Here in Asgard

The brute play the flute  
The arp play the harp  
The disgrace (Loki) play the bass  
And they soundin' sharp  
The bass play the brass  
The chub play the tub  
The fluke is the duke of soul  
(Yeah)  
The ray he can play  
The lings on the strings  
The trout rockin' out  
The blackfish she sings  
The smelt and the sprat  
They know where it's at  
An' oh that blowfish blow

Under the sea  
Under the sea  
When the sardine  
Begin the beguine  
It's music to me  
What do they got? A lot of sand  
We got a hot Asgardian band  
Each little clam here  
know how to jam here  
Under the sea  
Each little slug here  
Cuttin'a rug here  
Under the sea  
Each little snail here  
Know how to wail here  
That's why it's hotter  
Under the water  
Ya we in luck here  
Down in the muck here  
Under the sea

Tat's it for this chapter even if i dint change all the lyrics you get the idea right


	3. Chapter 3

**i didnt even start writing and i know that i'm going to have a ton of fun with this, mostly because i can match up the characters from both movies.**

**It might not all rhyme, but just pretend it does. There are no love relations in my stories, even if the Disney characters are, in my story it doesnt matter, i dont own Disney, even hough i love their songs. This chapter has all of them randomly breaking out in song" **

**Fury- Shang in I'll make a man out of you, Chi-Fu in a girl worth fighting for**

**Natasha- Mulan **

**Steve- Chien-Po **

**Tony- Ling**

**Clint- Yao**

**Thor- Mushu, just for the sake of him being someone, Bruce didn't really fit the role well.**

**Bruce- same as Thor**

_All the avengers were arguing non-stop in the lab. They were supposed to be a team, much less play the part of an army, but they could'nt stop arguing over every little thing. Fury had had enough, he was tired of them arguing and bickering over every little detail of life. So he devised a plan to get them together, as a team. _

_"_We've got a long way to go" he said, then he grabbed Loki's scepter and lead them into the gym in the Hellicarrier. "Let's get down to buisness" he shot two of the dummies that they use for training practice, and the team was amazed that he was, singing? "To defeat, the Chitauri" _Tony put a spider down Natasha's back collar. So she squirmed about and knocked everyone over._

"Did they send me civilians, when I asked for warriors?"

"You're the saddest bunch I ever met ,but you can bet before we're through, mister, I'll make a team out of you." Fury tried to grab Natasha to make her stop squirming but he got hit in the stomach even before he could try.

_Then, they went on to try archery, which Clint excelled at._

"Tranquil as a forest but on fire within. Once you find your center you are sure to win."_ Clint sung to instruct everyone how to shoot._

"You're a spineless, pale pathetic lot and you haven't got a clue. Somehow I'll make a man out of you." Fury sang

"I'm never gonna catch my breath" Steve sang

"Say goodbye to those who knew me" Clint sung as he was hit by a flaming arrow (how ironic)

"Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym" Tony sang (he never went to school as a child, he was home schooled because his father was rich)

"This Lady's haseth thou scared to death" Thor said

"Hope they don't see right through me" Natasha sung

"Now I really wish that I knew how to swim" Steve sung

"We must be swift as a coursing river. BE A TEAM, with all the force of a great typhoon. BE A TEAM, with all the strength of a raging fire.  
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon". They all sung.

"Time is racing toward us 'til the Chitauri arrive. Heed my every order and you might survive." Fury sang "You're unsuited for the rage of war, so pack up, go home you're through. How could I make a team Out of you?"

We must be swift as a coursing river  
BE A TEAM  
With all the force of a great typhoon  
BE A TEAM  
With all the strength of a raging fire  
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

BE A TEAM  
We must be swift as a coursing river  
BE A TEAM  
With all the force of a great typhoon  
BE A TEAM  
With all the strength of a raging fire  
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon  
Hoo-ah!

**Ok so that was the first, NSFFMPOV (not so funny from my POV) part of this chapter but , A Girl Worth Fighting For i think will be much funnier. However the irony in these songs and how they coincide with the avengers, I think is hilarious.**

For this song you have to get why they're walking to New York, all the hellicarriers that they have ran out of power because Loki took the Tesseract, thus stealing their main source of power.

"For a long time we've been marching off to battle" they all sang

"In our thundering herd  
We feel a lot like cattle" Clint sang

"Like the pounding beat" everyone turned to Tony, who was obnoxiously playing heavy metal on his Ipod.  
Our aching feet aren't  
easy to ignore" they sang

"Hey, think of instead  
A girl worth fighting for" Tony sang (typical playboy)

"Huh"? Natasha said.

"That's what I said  
A girl worth fighting for

I want her paler than the  
moon with eyes that  
shine like stars" Tony sang

"My girl will marvel at  
my strength, adore my  
battle scars" Clint sang

"I couldn't care less what she'll  
wear or what she looks like  
It all depends on what  
she cooks like  
Beef, pork, chicken  
Mm" Steve sang.

"Bet the local guys thought  
you were quite the charmer" Clint sang, referencing that anyone she's ever dated has died.

"And I'll bet the ladies love  
a man in armor" Tony sang

"You can guess what we  
have missed the most  
Since we went off to war  
What do we want?  
A girl worth fighting for " all the guys sang.

"My girl will think I have no faults" Clint sang  
"That I'm a major find" Steve sang

"Love is for children" Natasha _said _interrupting the song.

"My manly ways and turn of  
phrase are sure to thrill her" Tony sang

"He thinks he's such a lady killer" Clint sang

"I've a girl back home who's  
unlike any other" Fury sang

"Yeah, the only girl who'd  
love him is his mother" Clint whispered to Natasha sarcastically.

"But when we come home  
in victory they'll line up  
at the door  
What do we want?  
A girl worth fighting for  
Wish that I had  
A girl worth fighting for  
A girl worth fighting" they stopped to see that the Chitauri have already invaded New York, killing thousands, and took over the planet. With Loki as their leader.

Then all hell broke loose and Loki broke out in song.

You just got Loki'd you just got Loki'd. You just Loki'd, you just got Loki'd son, but you are not the only one" X2

Asgardian prince so let me talk some sense  
into the Midgard haters who must think I'm dense  
no recompense for I'm here to usurp this  
and remind you that I'm burdened with a glorious purpose  
Ya it's true I came here for the Tesseract  
to make you think ruling you was my plan of attack  
cut me some slack because that plan is wack  
all I ever really wanted was to get back  
into Asgard... is that so hard to see?  
I was scarred from being barred by my family  
Oh Thor you're so big we must worship thee!  
With your golden locks making fan girls squee  
I am Loki, the weaver of lies  
so step back while I cut you down to size

Earth's mightiest heroes? Avengers? Please.  
I played each of you with the greatest of ease.  
From your star spangled boy scout up to the head cheese  
let's not forget I made Heimdall freeze  
and I decree, each of you I'll subjugate  
to kneel before me is your natural state  
got a whole lot more than Shawarma up here on my plate  
so let me hear you sing it out if you can relate

Did you really think you'd stop me with a puny gag?  
I'm a trickster god, Hulk's punching bag!  
I made the Widow fake a sniffle and Stark get jet lag  
give me more time I'll make Thor's pecs sag!  
I'm incredulous, ridiculous, never superfluous, always adventurous  
Hawkeye shot me in the face with an explosive arrow  
have you noticed how my cheek bones are Oh so narrow?  
Isn't it apparent that I haven't lost yet?  
The moral of the story is the Infinity Gauntlet.  
Ultimate power seems a pretty good outlet  
for my daddy issues and ultimate conquest  
recognize that I'm the perfect foe  
and it's high time you understand my goals.

Natasha, I know you think you played me  
but this whole masquerade involves you having my babies  
Russian and Frost Giant blood oh so crazy  
Clint mooning over you doesn't phase me  
I'm determined that you're gonna wanna be my queen  
and absolute power is your ideal scene  
let's blow up the world and get some ice cream  
you and I shipped is my ultimate dream!

**Ok ok, i have to admit that was a pretty epic chapter, um i dont own any lyrics including the Loki'd one, they belong to some guy on youtube. Ok so if anyone has a request for a song let me know! This chapter was extremely fun to write even at 11:30 at night**


	4. Chapter 4

ok just letting ya'll know that i changed my pen name to Chernaya vdova and i thought it was pretty clever on my part. I am very surprised no one has that name yet, it means Black Widow in Russian spelled with English characters. I am so sorry i havent updated in forver but i would like to tell you that i am working on two stories at once, which i very hard to do. I have already posted one of them Borderline Valhalla, and my other one is a sequel to Pen and Ink, ROA gave me the inspiration for the plot but i changed it dramatically because if what she ment by Keree being evil is trying to kill her parents than it's not so much. But i hope you look foward to the stories and as always i am open to ideas and seldom use them


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys and gals! I just wanted to thank you all for the amazing responses to my stories, you guys have all favorited and followed them and I truly believe that you deserve a quick thank you. I would also like to take this time to apologize for not uploading fast enough, and for the next week I won't be uploading cause I will be on vacation. I will be leaving on Monday and coming back Saturday late at night. But you are lucky, because this is a car trip so I will dedicate my 9-11 hour car trip there and back to writing for you guys. Right now I am trying to write as much I can but tomorrow I gotta go to a party and Sunday I have to pack so I will upload whatever I write either on Saturday night ( if you're lucky) or Sunday morning, probably around 10 or so. Take into consideration that I will be getting back at around 11:00 pm -2:00 am so don't get, your hopes up, it's going to take a lot to keep me from uploading but since my computer is so slow I might wait until the morning. And you never know I might post something over the week just to let you know how's it going and I might drop a few details here and there. Actually I just uploaded a new story and if you have any suggestions I would be more than happy to incorporate them into it. And don't forget when school starts I won't be uploading during the week, only weekends. I am sorry but this is a huge year, 8th grade, and I probably won't upload anything from September to like the end or middle of October, because I have to take a Catholic High school entrance exam (CO-OP). I am crazy nervous for High school because I can only imagine how hard it will be. But I can't wait until Christmas break when I can o my very first Avengers Christmas fic, gonna be so much fun.

**Do me a huge favor and let everyone you know about my stories, I want to get a lot of people to read them, it would mean a lot to me. Thanks Again!**

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